Home away from home…

ImageThis is where all the magic happens! It’s my little sanctuary away from home. It’s my desk at work. As I’ve mentioned before, I love what I do. This little space helps me to focus and concentrate on the task at hand. There is lots to be said about loving your job. We spend anywhere between eight and ten hours a day (some of us even more) at our jobs on a daily basis.

Desk 2 Every morning I start my day with a hot cup of black tea with milk and a bowl of gluten-free Qia with slivered almonds, cranberries and fresh blueberries while I review the tasks list that I created the night before. I’ll then go over any emails that I didn’t have a chance to answer the night before or that morning from home. The rest of the day is usually pretty chaotic. I get interrupted quite a bit to look into unexpected issues throughout the office but it’s to be expected for what I do. It’s par for the course. I don’t mind it.

Desk 3

I swear this depicts me to the tee!

Several factors attribute to whether you can love and appreciate where you work and what you’re working towards. I genuinely admire and respect the people I work for and work with. I work in a very creative environment but what makes it so agreeable is that everyone works together for the purpose of the same goal and outcome. That eliminates the strain that comes with internal competition. Everyone has clearly defined roles. I think that significantly attributes to the uncompetitive atmosphere.

We all know what we need to do and what to do to get it done. When in doubt, there is an entire team to turn to that is readily and willing available to help. Obviously, not all is peachy, rosy and koombaya-ish at all times. There are days that can be quite challenging. Issues do arise. People do disagree and egos flare in the prospect of being wounded. It happens at my office as it does in every office in the world. You know you love your place of work if even after an argument has ensued that remains the one place where you ultimately want to be no matter what.

Desk 4

I borrowed this image from someone’s blog. I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it.

I’ve worked in a place before where I dreaded driving to in the morning. Sunday evenings I went into a terrible funk. A lump would automatically form in my throat at the thought of having to deal with certain people the following day. There is no more miserable feeling than the feeling of entrapment, frustration and disappointment; primarily in oneself. I didn’t want to be in that situation and so I made it my goal to change it. I’m writing this to share with you how fortunate I now feel to really enjoy what I do for a living. But maybe in my writing it, you are reading it because it’ll serve for you as the catalyst that will help you to be a bit more introspective and make you think about your current situation. Or maybe it’ll serve as a reminder as to just how fortunate you are to feel as lucky as I am.

Are you happy at work? Are you happy with what you’re doing? Did you pick the right career? Do you feel you live with a purpose? Do you have something better in mind? Do you have a plan?

Why am I never invited to these types of weddings???

I am sooooooooo obsessed with this wedding singer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I remarry, I swear I’m going to hire this guy. Best wedding singer EVER. He’s the same wedding singer from The Hangover. I’m dying of laughter over here. Enjoy! :D

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So excited about nothing!

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Today was a rather uneventful day but it was a great day! I got a lot done at work. I had the most delicious spinach, blueberry, raspberry, blackberry, goat cheese and walnut salad for lunch. I checked my grade online. I got a 100 on my paper! I wore extra comfy shoes. My best friend made me crack up about our dated hairdos. I made it to my destination on time without interruptions. I had a great conversation with a good friend who seemed happier than usual. I told my little person more than once today that I love her. And now, I’m in bed reading some really great blogs. Life is good. :) Image

Nothing monumental happened today but I’m full of joy and gratitude. I’m a lucky girl! I’m looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings.

What wondrous uneventful thing brought you some joy today?

Discount? Yes, please!

shop 2Last year I was in a completely different frame of mind. I wanted something, I went on-line and bought it no matter the price. I am not one to go window shopping or spend endless hours in a mall. I have the patience and attention span of a fruit fly. But I was slightly obsessed with quick online spending “fixes”. It was fantastic. Go to the website, find what you’re looking for within minutes, click on your size and click “complete purchase”. In a couple of days it was on my doorstep and I was happy!

Recently, I’ve come to realize that $600 shoes look no better than the $150 shoes. With that said, I am officially on a mission to Shopdownsize and save! I have made a promise to myself to spend no more than necessary. From here on out, I will no longer buy ANYTHING for full price! I refuse to pay full price for something that I can have for a fraction of the cost. No more going directly to Neiman’s, Nordstrom’s or Sacks’ websites! Yes, you heard me right. I am making a change people! From this day forward, I will only shop at Kohl’s, Neiman Marcus Rack, Rack Room Shoes, Marshalls and T.J. Maxx. It’s been decided. I am proud of my decision. I am absolutely certain I can make myself look just as fabulous on a more reasonable budget.

While I’ll be looking to save on clothing, I will confess that I probably won’t be skimming on my dietary preferences. Gluten-free foods aren’t cheap; neither are organic foods. I refuse to compromise our health for the sake of saving a pretty pennyshop 1. Vitamins aren’t cheap either as are not my Deep Sea Minerals anti-aging creams. Sheesh…I’m a spender, okay?! Give me a break! But I am going to make a much more concerted effort to cut coupons for our day to day groceries, home accessories and cleaning products; as well as our weekend activities which are considerably costly. I’ve signed up again for LivingSocial.com and Groupon.com!

I’m also looking into having my daughter attend school right next to my office so I can pick her up instead of leaving her at aftercare. That will also save me a small fortune. In addition to all these small savings ideas, I’m looking into moving much closer to work and buying myself a bicycle. Gas is ridiculously expensive. I hope to soon see a significant improvement. I’ll keep you posted.

Does anyone have any other cost savings ideas that I should know about?

Pop Goes My Heart!

I LOVE Hugh Grant and his goofy sense of humor! Best movie intro EVER! This is my mood today!!!! Funny, catchy song and hip breaking moves. Classic! Enjoy! :)

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The little things that make me happy…

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I tend to scribble notes in all my books.

For those of you that don’t know me very well…here is some insight into who and how I am. I work like a mule. I love my job. I take it very seriously. I’m results oriented and I seriously suck at office politics even though my heart is always in the right place. After I work all day, I go to school at night a couple of nights a week. I love school. I love learning new things and feeling like I’m getting closer to my goal. I am a single parent as I am not married, so I raise my little one on my own; though this year I have had more help with her than ever. I suffer horribly from insomnia. The point of this is that I am a busy woman and I get very little rest. And because my world can be somewhat hectic at times, I relish my “ME time”. I’m not much of a talker so I enjoy quiet during my ME Time.

I love to read even though for the past 3 months I have been able to do very little of it. I can repeat novels many times if I love them enough; Mansfield Park and Like Water for Chocolate being a couple of my favorites. I’ve read each at least five times. I never get tired of them.

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I’ve always wanted to be able to sit at this table and join in on the conversation.

I am obsessed with watching The Golden Girls. They show reruns of the episodes on Hallmark channel at midnight. I’m wide awake anyway so I stay up and watch. They also show them on Saturday mornings. It reminds me of my childhood. My mom would make us go to bed by 10 pm on school nights. My older sister and I shared a room and we’d turn off the lights at 10pm on the dot and that’s exactly the time the show started. We’d watched it in the dark at almost an inaudible volume on a miniature turn-dial TV that we could barely see from the distance of our beds. This show comforts me. It reminds me of how safe and at home I felt at that time.

Tea. Tea briTeangs me happiness. Any type of black tea will almost undoubtedly put a smile on my face. I love enjoying a quiet morning cup of tea on the balcony before I get ready for work. I enjoy a good cup of tea while reading other people’s blogs. I love a warm cup of tea while I’m watching a movie. Honestly, is there ever a wrong time for a cup of tea? I think not.

I love staying under the covers on a rainy Sunday and watching some of my absolute favorite romantic comedies. My number one all-time favorite is While You Were Sleeping. But there are so many that I’ve seen a few dozen times that I still watch now and again; You’ve Got Mail, Waitress, Just Like Heaven, New in Town, Woman on Top and Love Actually just to name a few. Waitress movie image Keri Russell

Finally, another little thing that makes me happy is that I do all these ME Time things with my baby. My little person is so well behaved and connected to me that we do all of these together and feel rested afterwards. When I read, she reads. She loves watching The Golden Girls on Saturday mornings with me while we eat breakfast. When I make myself a tea, she serves herself a tall glass of chocolate milk. When I watch movies in bed, she comes running into the room and jumps into bed with me. Such is life. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. It’s the little stuff that counts.

What little stuff makes you happy?

Things I know little of…

therapistPeople willingly open up to me about their relationships. I’m not sure why. Usually, they’ll start the conversation. They will pour their hearts out even though I never asked. Sometimes I will get a lengthy and winded response to a question as simple as “How is your wife/husband?” It’s a question that I typically ask out of courtesy and respect; not because I genuinely want to know. A simple “Doing very well, thank you” would suffice. However, there are times when even if it is quite obvious from my polite and somewhat dismissive demeanor and disengaging body language, that the person will blatantly disregard my signals and proceed to vent.

I don’t do much to stop or discourage it. Clearly, the person needs to tell someone and every time I let people speak I learn something new about how people relate to each other. Some stories have seemed utterly superfluous and expected. Some stories have been downright shockingly educational. At times, I’m not really sure how to process all that I am being exposed to.  Frankly, there are times when I seriously struggle not to be judgmental. People can be remarkably candid when they sense no judgment and feel that they won’t be stopped no matter what they say. I can feel the sense of relief that the orator is feeling halfway into the conversation with no one pushing the brakes. stop

I have learned that the hearts and lives of people come in as many shades as the wide color spectrum can provide. The lessons I have learned throughout the years about human nature and sexuality have been innumerable. I have always known that love and sexuality aren’t necessarily intertwined. Some of you will ardently oppose my statement. But I’ve never been more keenly aware of it as now. Every day, I learn something new.  Most importantly, I’ve learned there is a unique and intricate relationship for every complex and unique personality out there.

heartSome people are truly happily married and monogamous. Some people are truly happily married and not so monogamous. There are people that are capable of loving their spouse with the full intensity of their heart while caring on a long-term extramarital physical affair. A know a few married couples that prefer to live apart in order to keep the relationship fresh and interesting. As well as unmarried couples that are committed for a life time but have no intention of ever marrying. There are people that feel worthless and completely dysfunctional unless they are always in a relationship whether it be with someone they like or not. I know people that are well into a mature age that have always said they’d never marry and have meant it. Some miserable couples stay together for their children. Some couples don’t realize that they’re point of happiness and communality comes solely from their children until they become empty-nesters. There are a slew of different types of relationships.

In the end, this much I’ve learned from these endless conversations and from personal experience…just becaFunny-Love-Couple-Kissinguse you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean you want to be with them. Loving someone is completely different from being in love with someone. You can love someone while desiring another. Sex doesn’t equate feelings. The wonderful memory of a past relationship is usually just that; a wonderful memory and nothing more. Move on. Not all men mean exactly what they say and not all women mean to say something other than what they’re actually saying. Of course, all theories are thrown out the window when you’re head over heels in love; no sense, no reason, no rules and no one can get between you. Patience, thoughtfulness and prudence all come in handy when in the inchoate stages of a relationship (I think). I’m no expert; maybe I’m completely wrong.

Other than that…I’ve got nothing more. That’s as much as I know.

Any thoughts?

Uuuugghh…aaaarrrggg…mental constipation!

writers-block2I am frustrated. I have a serious case of Writersblockittis. I have been trying for two days now to write a paper for my World History class  and I have spent the last two nights trying to finish my next blog post. It’s about relationships; not my strong point. I am stuck!

I am trying to be as sensitive as possible. The last thing I want to do is accidentally offend somebody by saying the wrong thing. Anyway, this is where I’m at. Feel free to shoot me some thoughts to motivate and inspire me. I need all the help I can get. Thanks guys!!Image

Blog…don’t preach!

I absolutely love bloggers! And do you want to know why? Because bloggers focus on talking about themselves. They share great stories, interesting experiences, really cool photos, arts and crafts, and delicious recipes. They mind their own. They’ll talk about how they feel, what they’re going through, where they’ve travelled, how intricate a process for love bloggingsomething was or what their hopes and dreams are for the future. But RARELY do I see a post that starts with “Human beings need to be more aware of…”, “If only I could make you understand…”, “One must learn…”, “You should embrace a more reasonable attitude…”

Facebookers on the other hand (I’m not sure that’s an actual term yet), or at least most Facebookers, take it upon themselves to shower us with constant unsolicited life advice wise beyond our years. The irony of it is that usually the people that post these fascinating nuggets of wisdom are typically disappointed with where their lives have led. There is a bit of relief in dispensing noteworthy knowledge. It gives the preacher a false sense of control. I too have been guilty of this at some point in my life. That’s why I can confirm it and therefore, can speak freely. It is because of all this unsought advice that I have temporarily closed my FB account on numerous occasions. I personally have never been the recipient of the advice but it becomes annoying nonetheless. Some Facebookers are persistent if nothing else. One would think that if they saw that a message wasn’t getting through with the first six attempts then there wouldn’t be a need for another six. One would be wrong to think that what is logical for one person is logical for another. I’ve thought about why there seems to be a need to continue unremittingly spewing life advice  and then it dawned on me…

Preach, preach, preach, preach, preach…and with preaching comes an inevitable insurmountable surge of judgment. Alas! We have stumbled upon the real reason for which one provides unsought advice. Preaching is a more subtle way of passing judgment. Offering advice is a more subtle way of preaching.  And no, age does not necessarily make one wiser. JudgmentNeither does it necessarily go hand in hand with wisdom in general. One’s experiences are one’s own. Everyone learns in different ways and will take away from each experience a distinctive message; this is a psychological and sociological fact. No amount of preaching is going to teach anyone how to see or feel about something until they personally live through it. I know many younger folks that are very wise because they have lived and experienced far more than any adult around them. Personally, I’ve still got lots to learn as do most people, including the people posting the life lessons. But I guarantee you; I will not learn them from someone’s status update on Facebook. Put your life advice and lessons on morality to better use by being a little more introspective.

My actual status update on Facebook from about an hour ago:”

“Nothing more exhausting than constantly reading postings about profound life lessons and deep meaningful spiritual riddles on Facebook. Lighten up people. Life happens. No need to incessantly preach about it. It’s a little redundant. :)

I love writing about MY life on my blog. I talk about my experiences and my experiences alone. I can’t speak for anyone else or presume to know what’s best for people or how one should conduct one’s self. I’m not looking to teach anyone anything or influence them in anyway. Life alone will teach us. I just want you to stop by and visit, not take me too seriously and enjoy! keep it loght

Romped thoughts, a camera phone and some tea…

This week proved to be challenging. By sharing my dream in my previous post, I unconsciously subsequently revivified old experiences and sentiments. The more I re-read the dream and its comments, the more I think about Maui. I experienced something in Maui that I had almost entirely forgotten about principally because at the time I kept trying to shake it off. I still struggle now to write about it mostly because of how intimate and private the whole incident was. I thought about it a great deal and the fact that I was not with my baby this week only left me with even more free time on my hands to brood over it further.

Fairmont Hotel - Wailea, Hawaii

Fairmont Hotel – Wailea, Hawaii

I was in Wailea on business. I was a bit jetlagged. As usual, I was having difficulty staying asleep. I couldn’t resist opening all the hotel room glass doors earlier that night right before I went to bed. There was a cool gentle breeze coming off the Pacific Ocean and I wanted it in the room with me. It took me awhile to fall asleep even though I was exhausted from the nine hour trip. I hadn’t slept a wink either on the plane.  Truth be told, I am a poor traveler while in mid air. I love to travel but hate to fly unless I am comfortably inebriated. I hadn’t said much throughout the flight or so I was told by my co-worker. He mentioned that I seemed more pensive than usual. I lied and said I was worried about the bid that we were going to present.

The view from my room.

The view from my room.

While laying in bed, I remembered what I had thought about on the plane. The thought of him always made me uneasy. The thought of him came with everything that his memory stood for and all those feelings briefly sat in my hallowed stomach and heavy heart. I tossed and turned. Then I stopped for a second almost as if to quiet my mind long enough to clearly hear and assimilate my thought. I remember him telling me once that he had lived in Maui for a year. What did it matter now? That was years ago and I wasn’t sure why I was thinking about it. My tossing, turning and falling in and out of sleep was becoming tiresome and I fraught with irritation. I turned face up, kicked the sheets off and looked straight up at the ceiling in a defiant “enough is enough” stance. I was battling my own mind.

I shut my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I could hear the waves crashing against the beach below overlapping the sound of my deep inhalation. The waves were unhurried and methodical. They seemed almost timed and rhythmic. Suddenly, my mind was calm. I understood then that I should get up. Rather than stay in bed and continue thinking of nonsense, I got up. It was approximately a quarter to five in the morning. The soft breeze blowing into the room was slightly moving the long white curtains. I walked onto one of the balconies; the one in the bedroom. I looked below and the world seemed so restful. I took a few pictures with my cell phone. I wanted to make sure I captured the moment.

Taken right after doing yoga.

Taken right after doing yoga.

Why was my mind so busy when clearly the world around me was at peace? Looking over the hotel grounds and while admiring the ocean I had an epiphany; one that I had had before and had forcibly reminded myself before. “Forgive yourself. Don’t let the guilt or regret creep up on you. Let it go.”

And so, I did some yoga on the living room balcony. Then, I took a quick shower afterwards. Finally, I sat down at the desk and got some work done before my first meeting; all while enjoying a marvelous cup of English Breakfast tea. Life was quickly back to being as it should and I was happy.

Me working on my laptop. This is the very laptop I use to type my posts on my blog! :)

Me working on my laptop. This is the very laptop I use to type my posts on my blog! :)

 

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Food. Travel. Superlatives.

by Marley Zelinková Smith

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